


Addictions and Obsessions: Innocence Lost

by RosevalleyNB



Series: Addictions & Obsessions [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, No War AU, Post Hogwarts AU, dysfunctional romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-05-21 13:03:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6052633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosevalleyNB/pseuds/RosevalleyNB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alicia Spinnet was not beautiful, Terence decided. At least, not the sort of beauty you would find on the pages of Witch Weekly. Nevertheless, there was something about her that made it quite difficult for him to stay away from her. And for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what that was. </p>
<p>A story of how an obsession begins and an addiction worsens. But never does it end, no matter how hard you try to quit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: It had to happen one day

**Author's Note:**

> “This isn't a crush, it's obsession.You are never not in my thoughts. Your scent carries across a room and paralyzes me with longing. I don't want to hold your hand. Part of me wants to set you on fire and hold you while the flame consumes us both, to eat your heart so I know that only I possess it entirely.”  
> ― Gwen Hayes, Falling Under

A cold raindrop dripped from her wet hair into the scruff of her neck, raising goosepimples on her hot skin on its way down her spine. She was soaked to the bone. Her hair stuck in dripping tresses on her scalp and cheeks, her cold skin flushed red.

Terence would probably have a few choice words for her when he saw her like this, Alicia was sure of it. He always had something to say about her appearance, and tonight would most likely not be any different. But she’d cross that bridge when she’d come to it. For now, she couldn't even get past the front door.

“I’m sorry, Terry’s busy at the moment,” the red-headed girl at the door said again.

Alicia wiped a wet lock from her forehead with the back of her hand. A soft scoff escaped her as she studied the younger girl. She didn't need to be a Seer to put two and two together. Terence was _busy_ with the girl tonight.

Perhaps, this was all Alicia finally needed; a confirmation of what she had known all along. Or better yet, what she had chosen to ignore for so long and now no longer could. Not when the symptom stared her right back in the face.

“It’ll only take a minute of his time,” Alicia pressed despite herself, trying hard not to pay attention to the fact that the girl wore nothing more than a small towel. There probably was an entirely reasonable explanation for her state of dress. Knowing Terence, there always was, after all.

The girl twirled a lock of her auburn hair around her finger as she looked her up and down as. Alicia recognised her as the Harpies’ new Keeper, coincidentally also the new and very talented client Terence had been raving about for months. Exceptionally pretty, slender, and as feminine as they came.

Of course, she'd be here, like this.

_‘Busy my arse,’_ Alicia thought as she rubbed her face in exhaustion. She couldn’t find the will to be angry, not anymore. There were more pressing matters to worry about. “Just get him for me. It won’t take more than a few minutes; I _really_ need to talk to him.”

Despite their agreement that a locked Floo meant that he was too busy to see her, Alicia had found herself here at his flat after mindlessly wandering round and about London for hours in the streaming rain. The lines she had rehearsed in that time seemed obsolete now. It didn’t matter anymore that she had wanted to pour her heart out to him, beg him to make a decision, to pick her.

But it didn't mean that she didn’t have a few words left to say.

“Yeah, no.” The girl shook her head as she fixed the sagging towel. “Come back later, yeah? I’m sure we’ll, erm, he’ll be done by then. Bye now.”

Before Alicia could object, the door slammed in her face.

“Fucking prick,” she muttered. Her hand was already on the door again, wanting to knock and bang for as long as it needed until Terence dared to face her. She stood like that for minutes, her hand balled but unmoving and a dark scowl on her face.

Eventually, her shoulders sagged, and her hand dropped. She had humiliated herself enough times over the years, Alicia decided. She couldn’t do it anymore.

She was done. _They_ were done.

And as she walked away for the last time, she still wished that he’d come after her. Tell her that he’d chosen her, that he always had.

“Gods, how pathetic am I?”

***

“What the hell are you doing?” Terence stood in the doorway to his bedroom, drying his hair while he watched the half-naked girl on his bed with a mixture of annoyance and admiration for her cheek.

“Waiting for you,” she said with a sigh as she turned onto her back and stretched out lazily. “I have a few more questions about my contract.”

“Still? I can’t make it any more idiot-proof than it already is, darling. And why did you feel the need to get undressed for that? How did you get back in, anyway?” Terence bent to pick up her dress and tossed it at her. “Get dressed.”

“I have my ways.” She shrugged, softly laughing as she strategically rearranged the towel wrapped around her. “As I’ve said, I _really_ need to ask you something about my contract. It’s important, Terry, please.”

“That’s nice, Lauren.” He merely rolled his eyes and walked to his closet to grab clothes. “Get dressed, get out, and come around the office in the morning. I have plans for tonight.”

“Aww, really? I’m here now,” Lauren purred. “It’ll be a quickie. I promise, unless, you know…”

Terence had to laugh while he shook his head. Some things never changed. “We'll discuss it tomorrow morning in the office, darling. Let’s keep at least one aspect of your career professional, yeah? Now, leave, I have places to go and people to see.”

Pouting, Lauren sat upright as she undid the towel and watched in adoration how he got dressed. To her frustration, he didn’t turn around to admire her in return. Her pout turned into an angry sneer as she grabbed her dress. But she’d be damned if she didn’t give it a last try. “If you were planning to see that other girl, I’ve sent her away already. Your evening is clear, love. Come on, what do you say?”

Terence turned on his heels, his eyes wide in disbelief. “What other girl?” he asked slowly.

“The one you brought to the Quidditch Ball last month. You know, that plain looking friend of yours. I think the chit fancies you. She dropped by while you were taking your shower. The audacity of some people,” she answered airily. “Now, what do-”

He bolted out the door before she could finish what she had wanted to say.

Terence couldn’t remember the last time he had taken the stairs, and by the time he stood out on the street with his heart hammering in his chest, he was sure that he had skipped half of the steps. It was funny how insignificant things like that seemed to stand out in times when your world was about to crash down and burn around you. Out of everything that had happened that day, there were three things he remembered: skipping steps, the cold rain, and the too loud sound of a too hastily performed Apparition.

For the first time he could remember, he was too late to stop her.

And as he stood in the pouring rain, barefooted and half-dressed, he wondered if he had finally pushed her away for good.


	2. It started six summers ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Obsession. It starts with a spark. A flicker. At the strike of a match. Lying dormant in most of us, obsession feasts on the fumes, breathes in the smoky scent, curing around and in on itself. Building. We pet it, nurse it into existence. It is ours. All ours. A coveted perfection. And when it refuses to be ignored, it rages. It roars to life. A building inferno. Consuming. We are but pawns to its deceptive power.”  
> ― Trisha Wolfe, With Visions of Red

Alicia Spinnet was not beautiful, Terence decided. At least, not the sort of beauty you would find on the pages of Witch Weekly or the Daily Prophet. Nevertheless, he had to admit that there was something about Spinnet today that made it quite difficult for him to take his eyes off her. For the life of him, Terence couldn’t figure out what that was.

Considering the too loud way she talked and laughed with his mother about something or the other, she wasn’t exactly soft-spoken. Nor elegant or well-mannered like most proper Pure-blooded girls he knew. She didn’t even have to curves of a girl he noticed when she got up to show her new dress to his mum. Only that cheap cotton rag and the mud-coloured, wild rat’s nest of hair in a ponytail gave her away as being one.

Terence frowned over the brim of his book. That was the third time Spinnet brushed away the fringe from her eyes with the back of her hand. Did she even notice that she was doing that? It made her look even more graceless than she already was. Then again, her kind probably didn’t care. She was just as uncouth as those two other walking nightmares she wasted her time with at school.

_‘No, Alicia Spinnet is not beautiful nor is she a lady,’_ Terence told himself, He dropped his gaze to the page he had been attempting to read for the past ten minutes.

Still, something about her demanded his immediate attention. He glanced past his book again. He would never admit it aloud, but she did have unusually dark coloured eyes. And he had to admit that although Spinnet's laugh was too loud, it was also very contagious. He had to stop himself from laughing along with her. It was a good thing that his book covered his face as he would've hated her to see it and think her behaviour was acceptable. There was no doubt; her parents had mucked up her upbringing.

Still, despite her numerous flaws, Terence couldn’t take his eyes off her, especially her lips. They were pink and plump, and when she took a sip of her water or licked them, they shone. He couldn’t recall if they had always been like that, nor did he understand why he cared so much all of a sudden.

Spinnet had always been the bothersome daughter of his parents’ friends, nothing more than an irritating snotface he had been forced to play with years ago. He had hated it back then and had considered it his mission to make her cry as often as possible. Nothing about that had changed as far as he was concerned.

So, why was he curious about her now?

_Shiny pink lips._ He buried his face in his book again as he uncomfortably shifted in his chair.

A sudden and very unwelcome thought invaded his mind. Had someone kissed her already, sampled those lips to see if they tasted as good and sweet as they looked? Somehow, that idea unsettled him more than he liked to admit. She’d be a fourth year after the summer; it wouldn’t be that strange. Most of the Slytherin girls had already done that and more by the end of their third year. To them, it was just an exercise in using their budding femininity for their own gain. Were the girls in Gryffindor the same? Had she done more than kissing? The idea that someone had touched her, had beaten him to being the first, filled him with anger he didn’t understand. His knuckles turned white as his hold on the book tightened, his imagination running away with him.

“Gods be damned,” Terence muttered under his breath. And still, instead of forcing Spinnet from his thoughts and focus on his Advanced Potions to have a head start in the new school year, he kept staring at her and wondered how he could find out if someone else had spoilt her before he got his chance. It felt like his given right; he knew her the longest than anyone else, after all.

She’d be spending the next two weeks with his family until school started again. At first, he had been against it, of course. Who would want to spend their summer with a Gryff? However, now that he had a chance to think about it, having her here whilst her parents went on a second honeymoon didn't seem like a complete nightmare. It did offer him a chance to get to know ickle Spinnet a little better, after all.

Terence didn’t realise that he had been staring at her again until she glanced in his direction. He tilted his head, arrogantly smirking when he noticed how fast she looked away. The blush tinging her cheeks was as pink as her lips. Oh yes, having her around for two weeks was going to be fun.

“…won’t you Terence?”

Feeling caught and annoyed at the same time, he turned his gaze to his mother. Equally annoyed, disturbed even, she returned his hard stare. Spinnet had ducked her head, peering at him from underneath her lashes. And just like that, his mind wandered off again. When had her lashes become that long and thick?

“Terence, pay attention,” Linda Higgs warned, snapping her fingers at her son.

He turned his attention to her, unimpressed by how she talked to him. He would have to have a word with his father about it tonight. As their only child and heir, he deserved more respect than having a closeted alcoholic snap her fingers at him like he was a house elf. But until then, he’d count to ten and pretend to be a good son.

“You were saying, Mother?” He gave his mother an apologetic smile, one just as fake as hers.

His earlier ravings about having a _‘fucking Gryff’_ in the house still fresh on her mind, Linda Higgs made sure that the look on her face promised a particularly painful punishment if he dared to step out of line in the company of a guest.

“Will you show Ali the guestroom? I’m sure she wants to settle in and freshen up before supper.”

Terence's lips curled up in disdain at the nickname. Alicia was already simple enough. Then again, he reckoned that ‘Ali’ was a perfect fit for a common girl like her.

“Of course, Mother, it would be my pleasure.” He put his book down and stood up, gesturing at the door. “Shall we then?”

Maybe, if he played his cards right, he’d learn without much effort if someone had beaten him to sullying little Spinnet. Not that it mattered in the grand scheme of things; he would take his turn before the fortnight was over either way. Hell, probably before the day ended.

To satiate his curiosity, he told himself.

***

When his mother had first told him that their guest would be using the guestroom in his wing of the house, Terence had thrown a tantrum. Now that he had time to think about it, however, he was grateful for his mum to insist on having Spinnet in the room across the hall. Perhaps, he wouldn’t complain to his father about her behaviour this time; she did him a great favour, after all. Having little Spinnet near offered so many opportunities for him to get to know her better.

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, just in time to see her duck her head. Her cheeks flushed a bit as she nibbled on her bottom lip. There was nothing left of the loudmouthed girl he knew from school or the giggly girl who had been chatting with his mother a few minutes ago. This strange modesty of hers almost made her more likeable.

Almost.

“This is it,” Terence said as he opened the door to the room opposite his. He made sure that she needed to brush up against him when she went in. And it worked like a charm.

“Thank you, it’s a lovely room,” Alicia muttered as she passed him, clearly feeling uncomfortable.

In an obvious attempt to put some distance between them, she stalked towards the large windows. She crossed her arms tightly across her chest as she stared out the windows into the grand garden below.

Terence’s smirk grew and he softly closed the door. He could practically see her shoulders sag in relief at the hearing the click of the lock. Silly girl. Thankful for his mother’s insistence on the thick pile carpet, he snuck up on her. As he leant in, her scent invaded his senses, and he wondered if she’d taste as sweet as her scent.

“You should thank Mother later. She redecorated the room especially for you. Gave her something to do and all.”

Alicia yelped as she nearly jumped out of her skin at the voice so close to her ear. Hastily, she turned around only to come face to face with a too close standing Higgs. She took a step back, then another one until the windowsill poked her back.

He had her cornered.

“Get out of my way, you prick,” she snapped as she gave him a push.

Terence cocked his brows in fake surprise, but instead of backing off, he took another step closer. “Is that the way to treat your host, Spinnet? We’re just chatting, no harm done.”

Alicia crossed her arms over her chest again and jutted her nose high in the air. “In that case, we’re done chatting. I’d like to freshen up now.” When he kept grinning at her without moving an inch, she let out an exasperated sigh. “That means that you need to leave, you knob.”

Terence chuckled and pulled at her ugly dress. Merlin, even the Weasleys had a better fashion sense. And they wore hand-me-downs. Go figure.

“Why? Everyone knows that you haven’t got anything worthwhile hiding underneath that rag.”

Seeing the hurt on her face, he swallowed down the rest of his gibes and decided to take another approach. He’d hate it if her oversensitivity ruined his chances at the sampling he was dead-set on. “Just a quick question and I’ll leave you alone. For now.”

“Sod off, Higgs. I’m calling your mum.” Alicia pushed him aside to make a quick escape. She didn’t get far, though. Before she could take a step, he pulled her back by her arm.

“I wasn’t done yet,” he whispered in her ear. “One question and then I’ll leave, _Ali_.”

Alicia narrowed her eyes, clearly going over her options to get rid o him as quickly as possible. Eventually, she made the right decision and said, “What do you want?”

The grip on her arm slackened, and Terence's lips curled up into a small smile at the sight of her big brown eyes looking up at him. He could only hope for her that she’d give him the answer he wanted to hear. “Have you had your first kiss yet?”

“What’s it to you?” Alicia yanked her arm free, not even noticing that she’d given the wrong answer. However, before she could walk away, he had grabbed her again. “Let me go, you git.”

Terence was having none of it. Her evading his question fuelled the anger he had felt earlier. Anger he didn’t understand and blamed her for causing it. “Just answer the question, Ali.”

“No.”

“No what?”

“No kissing,” she bit out.

He let go of her, oddly satisfied with her reply. His features smoothened and anger that had been bubbling just beneath the surface quickly ebbed away. “Good.”

In hindsight, he knew that he should have left right then and there and gone on with his day as he had planned. But as it often goes, remorse only comes after the fact. Not that Terence Higgs was familiar with that particular emotion at age seventeen.

So, as he studied her more, a current ran through his body, setting his senses aflame. It muddled his thoughts, and he found himself skipping a few steps of his original plan. He grabbed either side of her face and pressed his lips to hers. The more she fought for her release, the harder he sucked, licked, and bit those lips that had piqued his curiosity. When that didn’t fulfil him as he had hoped, he pushed his tongue against her firmly closed lips until she gave in.

Eventually, Alicia finally stopped fighting him altogether. She was still as stiff as a rod, but at least she didn’t try to run away when he tentatively lowered his hand to her bum, his fingertips barely grazing over the fabric of her dress.

Terence wasn’t sure how long they stood there with him pressed up against her in eagerness to feel all of her whilst she was pushed up against the wall, unmoving. When he finally broke the kiss, panting and his trousers strained, he had the chuckle at the sight of her. Her eyes were screwed shut, brows furrowed, and her still parted lips were swollen and wet. His cock twitched at the possibilities of what he could do with that mouth. But that would have to wait for another day.

“Well,” he started, schooling his features into one of disdain when she slowly opened her eyes. He had to bite the inside of his cheek not to burst out into laughter at seeing her blinking at him dazed and confused. “That was disappointing, like kissing a dead fish. You need more practice, Spinnet. It’s a good thing that I’m here to teach you.”

He looked her over once more before he walked away, leaving an utterly bewildered Alicia behind.


	3. A summer of confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Somewhere between love and hate lies confusion, misunderstanding, and desperate hope.”  
> ― Shannon L. Alder

Terence frowned as he watched Spinnet swim another lap. She had been in the pool for nearly two hours, long before he got down from his room, and she still didn’t show any signs of getting out. He scoffed as he adjusted his sunglasses and attempted to read his Quidditch International magazine. Admittedly, it was almost refreshing to see how prudish she was. Refreshing, but mostly annoying since he still had two weeks of vacation to kill before school started. So far Gryffindor courage; he had always known the lot of them were all talk and no trousers.

“I need a drink,” his mother said with a sigh as she put down her book. “It’s too warm.”

“You always need a drink,” he muttered as he pulled up his magazine far enough to block her but still have a good view of Spinnet.

Linda Higgs didn’t hear her son or pretended not to, as she got up from her sunbed. For a fleeting minute, she stood on unsteady legs as her eyes darted from the young girl in the pool to her son and back again with a pained look on her face. Eventually, she turned to stagger inside, mumbling to herself.

“Sodding boozer,” Terence cursed as soon as she was out of earshot distance.

Still, he couldn’t deny that he was relieved that she had decided to go for her second bottle of wine before lunch. It gave him some alone time with Spinnet to advance her lessons. Peering over his magazine, he noticed that she had finally stopped her splashing around and now was hanging off the side of the pool, her back turned to him. A grin slowly replaced the ever-present scowl that graced his face whenever he was forced to spend time with his mother.

As quietly as he could, he got up and dove into the cool water with a practised ease. He had a sudden urge to find out if Spinnet still tasted as sweet as the day before.

Unaware of Terence swimming her way, Alicia floated in the water, her chin resting on her arm on the edge of the pool and plucking grass with her free hand. The sun burnt her bare shoulders and the upper part of her back, but she refused to get out just yet. She was trying to hide from prying eyes. The bathing suit her mother had bought her was a size too small and made her feel too naked, which wouldn’t have been a big problem if Linda had been the only one sunbathing with her today.

“Prick,” Alicia mumbled barely audible as her hand involuntarily shot up to her lips.

After tossing and turning the whole night, she had decided that she was angry with Higgs for ruining her first kiss and all her fantasies that she had built around the moment. And how dare he say she was rubbish at it? Of course, she was terrible at it; it had been her first time, after all.

“Arsehole,” she mumbled and dropped her forehead on her arm, blowing raspberries in the water barely touching her lips.

Slowly, worry replaced anger. What if the next boy she kissed -hopefully, George Weasley- also thought that she was horrible kisser? Oh, Merlin, what if Higgs decided to tell everyone once school started again. She could already hear the gossip and sniggers behind her back. Worst of all, George probably wouldn’t look at her again if he found out, let alone snog.

Too distracted and wallowing in self-pity, she didn’t notice the ripples in the water behind her or Terence smoothly emerging. Only when he cupped a handful of water and dripped it over her overheated shoulders, she became aware that she wasn’t alone anymore. The sudden coolness made her jump up with a high pitched shriek and turn around.

“What you did that for?” she demanded to know as soon as she laid eyes on Terence and splashed water in his direction, which only made him laugh. Ready to call Linda to help her get out, she stood on her tiptoes and looked around. Great, she was all alone with him. “Where’s your mum?”

“She went inside for a drink. In case you haven’t noticed, Mother has an, erm, insatiable thirst.”

"Right," Alicia mumbled, not entirely sure what he was hinting at. "But you shouldn’t scare people like that. What do you want?”

“I called out a few times,” Terence lied. His already wide grin grew wider when his eyes fell on her top, showing more than he could have hoped for. “So, ah, what are you doing?”

“None of your business.” Alicia folded her arms over chest, trying to pull up her top as discretely as possible. This was the last time she'd wear the sodding thing.

“I live here, and you’re my parents’ guest, so it is my business.” He waded closer until they stood nose to nose. “You know, you ought to be kinder to your host.”

“Well, that goes both ways,” Alicia shot back. “What you did yesterday was anything but hospitable if you must know.”

“What did I do?” Terence chuckled when she wrapped her arms tighter around herself instead of answering him. “You can’t just accuse me of something without clarifying what. Come on, tell me.”

“You know what you did.”

Terence shook his head. “No, not an idea.”

Scandalised that he’d make her say it aloud, Alicia quickly looked around to see if Linda was on her way back already. When she was sure that they were alone, she narrowed her eyes in contempt to mask her nerves. “You kissed me,” she hissed, awkwardly jabbing his shoulder as she tried to keep herself covered.

“Oh, that. So?”

“So?” she shrieked, feeling slighted by his indifference. It would have been nice if it had been the first thing to pop up in his mind, at least. “You’ve ruined everything.”

“Ruined what exactly?” Terence took a step closer, leaving next to no room between them. “It was just a kiss, nothing special.”

“It wasn’t supposed to go like that.” She splayed her hands on his chest lightly pushed him back. “You’ve ruined my first kiss. It was meant to be memorable, and certainly not with you.”

“Aww, Spinnet, that hurt. What’s wrong with kissing me? There are a lot of girls who'd jump at the opportunity, you know.”

“Go bother them, then.”

“You just keep hurting me. What have I ever done to you?” Terence bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing out loud as he clutched her hands over his heart, which allowed him a quick glance at her barely covered chest. “Besides, how was it supposed to go?”

Having rehearsed this moment in her head the whole night last night, Alicia scowled darkly and pulled her hands free. She’d tell him exactly how he had ruined her dreams and demand an apology.

“It should have been with my boyfriend, with flowers at Madam Puddifoot’s, and candy hearts…and…and…” Alicia fell quiet when he began laughing, slapping her arm in mirth even. It was clear that he was mocking her, which made her feel stupid for talking to him in the first place. In her head, it had sounded way better than it came out. Turning away in embarrassment, she mumbled, “I have to go.”

“Come on, stay. We’re having fun.”

“You are, I’m not.”

Her attempt at swimming ended before it started when he pulled her back by her arm. The grin he had worn seconds ago was replaced by a frown as he held her jaw and traced her bottom lip with his thumb. Goosepimples marred her skin at the touch while a strange feeling began stirring in her belly. It felt far different from the butterflies that swarmed around whenever George was around. This new feeling left her whole body tingling, made her breathe harder, and caused her heart to hammer so fast that she was sure it was going to jump out her chest.

What was wrong with her?

“What are you doing?” she squeaked when his face slowly came closer. “You’re not doing it again.”

Despite her resolution not to allow him near her again, she didn’t stop him or duck away when he put her hands on the sides of her face. There was something in the way he touched her that made her lips part just the slightest bit and close her eyes.

She felt him lean in, his proximity raising the hairs on the back of her neck. Her breathing turned faster and faster until she felt so dizzy that she was sure that she’d topple over and drown if it weren’t for him holding on to her. And when his lips touched her, it so much different, softer than the day before that it surprised her.

The tingling in her lower belly grew hotter and unrulier, and she found herself opening up for more as she tentatively mimicked his actions from the day before. Tasting and licking, sucking and pushing until she got the hang of it and it took her breath away. When he pulled away, she held on to his forearms not to sag through her knees and blinked up in confusion, unsure about what the hell had happened.

“Now was it so-” Terence didn’t get to finish what he wanted to say when his eye fell on trouser-clad legs behind her. A fine Italian leather shoe tapped the grass in impatience. Unfortunately, it appeared that the Spinnet-flavoured sampling had come to an early end. Sighing in exasperation, he let go of her and backed off.

“What are you doing?” Alicia asked when she found her voice again. When he pointed at something behind, she quickly glanced over her shoulder, sure that he had reverted to taking the piss. He hadn’t.

Any other day, it would have been a funny sight to see her yelp when she noticed that they weren’t alone anymore and duck into the water up to her chin, eyes wide as saucers and face red enough to suspect a heatstroke. This wasn’t that moment, though. Shielding his eyes from the sun, he braced himself for what was to come.

An emotionless looking Tobias Higgs, still dressed in his Wizengamot robes, stared down at him with raised brows. Behind him stood his mother, smirking as she held up her wine glass in cheers.

“You, in my study, now,” was all that his father said before he turned on his heels and stalked away.

***

“Understood, son?” Tobias Higgs kindly asked as he lifted his son’s chin. “Answer me.”

“Yes, sir.” Terence nodded and quickly dropped his gaze back to his lap, too confused to think straight. He had expected a scolding, some form of punishment for snogging Spinnet. But not this, and judging by his mother’s pale face, she hadn’t either. There had to be a catch, there always was.

“Toby, you can’t do this,” Linda muttered. “You promised me that you wouldn’t. We were supposed to-”

“I’ve promised you a lot of things, love,” Tobias cut her off without taking his eyes off his son. “This wasn’t of them.”

“Stop acting like I’m crazy. You’ve lied to me, again.” Linda let out a dry sob, biting back the tears, but neither her son or husband paid her any attention. “You’re too lenient,” she tried again.

“Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill, love. Why don’t you go and see if we have the right wine for dinner tonight?”

He stared her down when she wanted to protest, his glare reminding her of which promises he intended to keep. Eventually, Linda merely nodded and quietly left the room without another glance at her husband and son.

Tobias let out a tortured breath as the door slammed shut after his wife. Rubbing his face, he turned to his son. The boy still refused to look up. Then again, he didn’t need to see his face to know that he was smirking because of the little show his mother had insisted on performing. The smirk was insignificant, but after the day he had, it was enough to push him over the edge. He hit Terence's so hard upside the head that it burnt his palm.

“You will stay away from Alicia,” he hissed as he grabbed Terence’s jaw. The sneer and derision on his son’s face resembled his own so much that he was sure that nothing he said would leave an impression. But he still had to try, even if it was for the form. “At least have the decency to wait until she is of age. She isn’t going anywhere.”

***

Several hours had already passed before Alicia dared come out of hiding. As quietly as possible not to attract too much attention to herself, she joined her hosts for an early last supper, fully expecting them to have Floo-called her parents and ready to toss her out on the streets.

To her surprise, neither said anything nor acknowledged what they had seen earlier. The three of them ate in a thick silence, and it wasn't until the main course was served she realised that Terence wasn't going to join them. And despite thinking him to be the greatest prick alive, his absence left her quite disappointed and worried.

But most of all, it left her confused.

***

Alicia was sitting on the bed, her arms wrapped around her legs pulled up against her chest as she watched the stars twinkle high in the night sky. She had one more night left at Higgs Manor before she’d be off to school tomorrow. And in all honesty, she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. As it had been for the last two weeks, confusion was all she felt.

Behind her, the door quietly creaked open, and without looking back, she knew that the source of her confusion had come to visit her again as he had done for the past few nights. Her throat constricted when he plopped down behind her.

“You should be sleeping, we need to get up early tomorrow,” he murmured.

Alicia nodded, not trusting her voice to come out even. She tightened her arms around her legs when he trailed his finger over her bare arm. Something stirred in her belly. Deep down, she knew that she ought to tell him to go back to his room. But she didn’t. Like she hadn’t told anyone that he kept slipping into her room at night, _'teaching her how to snog'_ as he called it, and lay with her until she fell asleep.

That second time he had kissed her, in the pool, something had changed, and she couldn’t put her finger on what it could have been. He hadn’t grabbed or touched her anywhere uncomfortable, just his hand on her cheeks and a kiss so different from the first one it had left her stunned. He hadn’t looked at her or spoken to her the rest of the week, until she had found him sitting on her bed one night, waiting for her. And the strangest thing had happened when she’d seen him there, looking up at her with a faint smile; she had felt relieved.

“You need to go to sleep, Spinnet.”

Terence brushed his lips against her shoulder, pushing down the thin strap of her nightshirt.

“Yeah…” Alicia whispered. Her eyes closed as that strange feeling in her belly she didn't have a name for intensified. A shiver ran up her spine. His breath against her skin was driving her insane, and she didn’t understand it could. He was a pillock of the biggest kind, after all, and she ought to stay clear of him.

With a short-lived vigour, she pushed him off a little, beginning to tell him to stop. But before she knew it, his soft lips were pressing against hers, and her mind was once more taken away, almost like she was unconscious. He did that to her. His smell, his skin, his touch made her lose focus.

She was on her back with him on top, their kisses never stopping. His hand trailed softly down her side, hesitant almost as he scrunched up her shirt. A moan, so soft she wasn’t sure if it was her doing so, escaped her when he hiked a finger under the elastic of her pyjama shorts. And like the night before, when he had done that for the first time, she pushed off his hand. Snogging was one thing; she wasn’t near ready for anything else.

He lips peeled away from hers, his forehead resting on hers. “Not yet,” he muttered, more to himself than to her it seemed.

After a few deep breaths, he rolled off the bed and stood up, his eyes on the floor and his voice strained as he held out his and to her. “Come, under the covers with you. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”

Much later, as she lay tucked in and he next to her on top of the tin blankets, she asked the question that had kept her distracted the whole day. “What happens at school?”

The answer wasn’t what she had hoped it would be.


	4. Weak Young Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “If you ever looked at me once with what I know is in you, I would be your slave.”  
> ― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

September 1st had come again, and Platform Nine And Three Quarters was full with parents waving off their offspring for another school year with promises to see each other at Christmas time. Among them, the Spinnets and the Higgs. The couples were engaged in a lively conversation and their children scattered off to see their friends. If either set of parents had noticed the tension between their children, they didn’t mention it. Instead, they preferred to focus on the Spinnets’ travels and the newest gossip Rita Skeeter had published about the Lestranges.

Terence caught up with Marcus Flint and Adrian Pucey, laughing and joking around as if the friends hadn’t seen each other in ages when in reality, they had got drunk just two nights prior. And where Terence didn’t mind being the centre of attention, especially where it came to the flirty girls that joined him and his friends on and off, Alicia had pulled a very reluctant Angelina Johnson and the year younger Katie Bell behind a pillar to get away from prying eyes.

“Is he watching?” Alicia asked as she pressed her back against the steel beam. She had tucked her hands deep into her pockets to keep herself from wringing them. On the one hand, she wanted to get away from Higgs as far as possible after last night, and on the other, she wanted him to search for her. It would mean something if he did, wouldn’t it?

“Who?” Angelina asked in a bored tone. Miffed to be pulled away from the twins and Oliver, she was craning her neck to see where the boys had gone off to. Any of her other friends would do as well. Anyone was better than the jittery Alicia and childish Katie.

“Terence Higgs,” Alicia whispered, afraid that if she’d say the name aloud that he’d jump out from nowhere.

“Why would he?” Angelina had difficulty hiding her indifference as she glanced at her other friends, dying to join their joking around.

Nervous and doubting if she should tell them what had happened the last two weeks, Alicia brought pulled her hand out of her pocket and up to her mouth. As she nibbled on her thumb, she silently debated about what to tell and what not. Eventually, Katie tugged at her sleeve when she took too long to answer. Her friend nodded encouragingly, silently telling her to go on. Perhaps, she ought to, Alicia mused, to get it off her chest.

“It’s just-”

“Oh, there they are,” Angelina suddenly interrupted when Fred waved and winked at her. “Listen, I need to have a chat with Fred. He wants to tell me something. Save us seats, yeah?” Without a glance back or waiting for a reply, she darted away as she called out to the twins to wait for her.

As soon as Angelina was out earshot distance, Katie let out a sigh of exasperation. “Merlin on a stick, she's throwing herself at him, and he's eating it up. Disgusting.” She shook her head, fully expecting her friend to join in on the complaining as she’d always done. When she didn’t, Katie nudged her. “What’s got your knickers in a knot?”

“Take a peek behind me, and I’ll tell you. Please?” Alicia nervously looked around in search of the familiar blond head. She didn’t see him anywhere, so that meant he had to be somewhere behind her. She needed to be sure before he overheard something and used it against her.

Katie took a step to the side to look around the pillar right in time to catch Marcus Flint’s eye. He smiled broadly at her, baring his crooked teeth and waggling his brows. Her eyes went wide at the sight as her cheeks turned a dark crimson. She quickly took a step back and moved to stand next to Alicia with her back turned to the boys.

“Flint is strange,” Katie mumbled as she ducked her head, a hint of a chuckle tinging her voice.

“What happened?”

“Flint, Pucey, and Higgs are on the other side,” Katie whispered as she pointed her thumb over her shoulder. “Flint smiled at me. Why would he smile? I didn't know he could. You reckon he’s trying to scare me?”

“Bloody hell, I don’t know,” Alicia muttered as she rubbed her face. She couldn’t talk with Terence so close and blurted out the first thing that came to her to get away. “Do you want to board the train already? I can’t talk here. He might…”

“Yeah, I thought so.” The plea in Alicia’s voice, and being the ever faithful friend, Katie agreed easily. She looked down the platform, nodding as she thought of something. “Let me say goodbye to Mum and Dad and I’ll see you, erm...” She pointed at the very last carriage in the distance as she continued in a barely audible whisper, “…there.”

***

It took less than fifteen minutes for the girls to say their goodbyes to their parents. While the Muggle Bells were reluctant to send their daughter off for another year to that strange place in Scotland where she learnt, even more, stranger tricks, the Spinnets barely looked up when Alicia quietly informed them that she was boarding the train. Only Linda Higgs took the time to take her aside for a minute and urge her to take good care of herself, which Alicia agreed to even though she had no idea what the woman meant.

Katie claimed the very last compartment as theirs, her death glare directed at anyone who dared to walk by and throw a curious glance inside their private space. When she was sure that no one would step in without risking a few hexes flung their way, she settled in her seat and cocked her chin at Alicia. She had tried and lost the battle to control her curiosity.

“C’mon, tell me,” she prodded. “What happened with Higgs?”

“Yeah, about that.” Alicia’s eyes darted from the door to Katie, already regretting mentioning anything at all. Things like this had a way of getting out, and before you knew she was the Gryffindor consorting with the enemy and all her mates would turn against her. Even worse, what if Higgs denied everything? She’d look like a starry-eyed bint who made up rumours for attention.

“Oi!” Katie waved her hand in her face. “I left my Mum and Dad earlier than needed for this. You better spill.”

Alicia nodded and again checked if the door was closed. When she couldn’t stall any longer, took a deep breath and quietly muttered, “We kissed, uhm, he kissed me. A few times.”

Katie’s eyes grew wide, in shock first but soon excitement took over. “You kissed him? Really? How? I mean, was it a peck on the lips or…”

“With tongue.” Alicia was sure that by now her head was ready to explode, so hot it felt. Katie clapping her hands and shrieking in delight didn’t help at all.

“Oh, my!” Katie threw her head back and laughed. When Alicia slapped her arm and told her to keep it down, she clasped her hand over her mouth. “Sorry, it’s just… I’m glad it’s you that’s done it first. If it had been Angie, we wouldn’t have heard the end of it. Now, tell me, how was it? Was it any good? My sister said it was like licking a raw steak. Was it? Is he your boyfriend now? Hehe, Ollie’s gonna shit his trousers when he finds out you’re dating the Slytherin Seeker.”

“No, no, he is not my boyfriend. We just snogged, s’all.”

Katie frowned at hearing that. To her, snogging meant you were boyfriend and girlfriend. “Oh, well, was it any good at least?”

Alicia, taken aback by Katie’s enthusiasm and questions, didn’t know what to answer. She had hated it the first time, and the second made her head spin, but if she had to be honest, all the ones after had been… nice? Was that the right answer? Would it be too ridiculous to say that he’d taken her breath away the first time he’d sneaked into her room? Would Katie laugh at her when she told her about the strange feeling deep down in her belly that nearly drove her crazy when he was close by? Her breath hitched when she thought back at the first time he’d pressed himself against her on her bed, and she’d felt an unfamiliar hardness poking her.

“Ali, how was it? Don’t keep me waiting, here. You’ve promised to tell me everything,” Katie reminded her of the pact they had made last year. As soon as one of them had their first kiss, they were supposed to report back in full detail for learning purposes.

Alicia offered her a small smile. She would honour her promise, just not all of it. Katie didn’t need to know that he had grabbed so hard the first time that he’d bruised her arm or how he kept mocking her hair and clothes. She didn’t need to know that last night he told her that he couldn’t be seen with her at school because she was too unsightly and he had a reputation to uphold. So, Alicia told Katie what she wanted to hear.

“It was…great.”

***

Like most things in life, it was a combination of circumstances that pushed Terence Higgs from being merely fascinated with the creature by the name of Alicia Spinnet to becoming obsessed with her. A carelessly left open door and conversation not meant to be overheard by him changed the course of Alicia’s fourth year and with that, the rest of her life.

Perhaps, if the door to their compartment hadn’t got stuck halfway when Angelina joined her friends or if she had waited a few more minutes with telling her story, things in life would have turned out quite differently for Alicia and Terence. But as it was, Angie wasn’t bothered by the open door because she needed the fresh air and she could no longer keep the news Fred had entrusted her with to herself.

“… win this year. Oliver told me just now…”

Alicia sat with her head pressed against the cool window, watching the scenery pass her at an increasing pace. They had left King’s Cross just a half hour ago and she was already counting down the seconds until she could get off the train. Opposite her, Angelina droned non-stop about Quidditch, House Points, and the upcoming Hogsmeade weekends and what she was planning to do on each one of them. Of course, Fred Weasley was prominently featured in every one of her plans, just as he had been since their first year.

Katie looked like she’d checked out a while ago, her eyelids fluttering as she stared blankly at the same page she had opened her _‘Quidditch Through the Ages’_ to as soon as they had left the station.

Alicia wondered how long it would take for Angie to notice that neither of them was listening to her. Knowing her, probably long after they’d arrived at Hogwarts, but by then Fred would be there again to distract her. It was a small miracle that she hadn’t invited the boys to sit with them this morning.

“…tell you something. Ali?”

Blinking in surprise to hear her name so early on, she looked up. She must have misheard; Angie couldn’t have run out of stories to tell so soon. Even Katie looked up in confusion, squinting to mask that she had fallen asleep. “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

“Gods, you bint, pay attention.” Angelina slyly smiled as she leant in, pulling Katie along with her. “I was saying, guess what a ginger birdie told me.”

“What ginger birdie?” Alicia feigned interest, but she couldn’t care less about another new Quidditch move Fred had taught Angie. It was about time those two stopped circling each other under the guise of Quidditch and get together already.

Angelina bit her lip, giggling with excitement. Katie’s mocking snort in her ear was and efforts to pry free from her grasp were lost on her. “Freddie-bird.”

See there it was already. “Look, can we talk Quidditch tomorrow? I’m not-”

“Who said anything about Quidditch?” Angelina rebuffed, offended. It didn’t last long, though. Her news was just too big to let something as a grudge keep her from sharing. “Fred told me a secret about George.”

“That’s not nice,” Katie muttered and tried to pull her arm free again, but the painful grip Angie had on her didn’t allow any movement.

“It is, though. George wanted him to share.” Angie grabbed Alicia hand, ready to jump and down with her as soon as she broke the news. “George’s gonna ask you out to Hogsmeade. According to Fred, he fancies you, a lot.”

“Really? George…me?” Alicia couldn’t deny how flattered it made her feel. Last year, up to two weeks ago even, she would have said that she fancied him back. Maybe, now that school started again, she’d feel the same way again. It wasn’t as if she had other alternatives, like a certain boy called Terence. He’d made it clear that she'd only been a convenient snog, after all.

“You have to say yes, of course,” Angelina rushed eagerly. “Fred said he'd take me as his date if George can take you.”

“What about me?” Katie piped up. “I’m allowed to go this year.”

“We’ll find someone,” Angie bit out annoyed, her gaze still fixed on Alicia. “What do you say? Fred told me that George talked about you every day this summer. Apparently, he thinks you’re beautiful.”

“George said that? Beautiful?” Alicia ducked her head, blushing profusely. So, she wasn’t as unsightly as Higgs told her she was. The upcoming school year didn’t seem all that bleak anymore. “You reckon that he’ll take me Madam Puddifoot’s if I say yes? I’ve always wanted to go.”

Maybe, she should have looked up before speaking, but as it was, she didn’t. Not then, anyway. And if Katie hadn’t gasped at the something happening on the other side of the broken door, she wouldn’t have seen Terence Higgs staring at her, his face twisted in an angry scowl and his hands balled into fists. If Katie hadn’t gasped, she wouldn’t have seen how Marcus Flint and Adrian Pucey dragged him away when he showed the faintest inclination to barge in.

“What’s his problem?” Angelina asked no one in particular as she watched the curious sight. Shaking her head and muttering something about dramatic Slytherin’s trying to intimidate them, she turned to Alicia again. “Listen, when George asks you, and you go out, you should wear that red jumper.”

Later at dinner, as they watched the sorting of the first years, Katie would tease Alicia and tell her that Higgs had looked disappointed at losing his chance with her and in return, she would just nod and giggle along. But she knew better. She had seen that look before. She had seen it when he asked if she had her first kiss. And again, when he got into a heated argument with Linda at the dinner table before his father had stepped in before it got out of hand.

Terence was beyond angry, and she didn’t understand why.


End file.
